Many thanks to The Santa Fe New Mexican for permission to share our Whole Hearted Parenting column with you!

We are in a time of year when rituals abound.  From lighting candles in the menorah to decorating the tree, our rituals sustain us and bind us together.  Rituals are the vital glue for our families, communities, and culture.  If you think back to past holiday seasons, what memories pop up?  Most likely, they include at least one ritual. 

Routines – such as bedtime, getting ready for school, and mealtime – supply structure to our lives.  Rituals supply safety.  They soothe our nervous systems.  They provide meaning.  They connect us.  They sanctify our lives. 

Rituals may be simple and still be potent.  It could be a toast at dinner, walking Canyon Road on Christmas eve, bringing a turkey to another family, or having the youngest child held up to put the finishing touch of the star on the very top of the tree.  Those are all simple yet very meaningful expressions of gratitude.  They are ceremonial.  Whether communal or individual, rituals allow us to give our thanks. 

Please take a moment to consider your family rituals.  

·     Are ancestral rituals included?  These rituals, going back generations, have deep roots and can put you in touch with what has been meaningful in your family for decades and longer.

·     Have you considered talking with your family about new rituals to incorporate?  Your children may enjoy adding something new of their own creation that you can begin now and carry throughout the years.

·     What are the rituals that you currently include?  Which are the most meaningful to everyone in your family?  Are there ones that have lost meaning over the years that you now might prefer to replace or drop?   

Having a family meeting to discuss the rituals for the upcoming holiday season can be a great kickoff.  You can talk about the meaning behind each one, what they have meant to you and to those from previous generations, and how your children can be more involved in each ritual that will be happening. 

May your rituals, old and new, bring a glow to your holidays!