One of the most famous pieces written about choosing a path - making a decision - is The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost.   The writer faced two roads diverging in a yellow wood and realized that he could not travel both.  He stood a while looking down the one road as far as he could.  Then he looked at the other.  No one had gone down either path that morning.  He chose the one less traveled and “that has made all the difference.”    

In making his decision about which path to take at that split in the road, he did not belabor the decision.  He looked, he paused, and he chose.  There were no poetic lines about anxiety, self-doubt, indecision, or judgement. 

Yet somehow today, many decisions contain all or some of those ingredients!  We measure the pros against the cons.  We make our lists.  We talk to a lot of people, asking what they would do.  We second-guess ourselves.  We tie ourselves in knots with indecision, generating uncomfortable tension in our bodies all the while.  There must be a better way!

There is!  Here are three suggestions for making decisions in a more serene manner:

1.     Explore the beliefs that you have around mistakes.  Your beliefs around mistakes may not be supporting you in making decisions today.

What did your parents do when you made a mistake as a child?  Did they yell or calmly talk to you about how to make it better?  Were you punished, shamed, or did you have a respectful conversation?  From our parents’ responses to our mistakes, we decide something.  You may have decided that you better make the right choice – go down that right path – or you are stupid, a looser, not good enough, or not loveable.   You may have concluded that there are only good decisions and bad decisions and that you are good or bad based on the decisions that you make.  

Judging and labeling yourself about your decisions don’t assist you in making decision with ease or in a healthy way.  When you can discover your beliefs around mistakes and then shift a limiting belief that you might have, decision making becomes smoother and more clear. 

Remember, in The Road Not Taken, there was no judgement about either road, and he did not judge his decision to take the road less traveled.  He may have thought about how his journey might have been different with another decision, yet there was no self-judgement about his choice.  There was a bit of wonder!

2.     Recognize that you have many opportunities to make every one of your decisions the best decision that you have ever made.  Things happen no matter what decision you make.  If you take Path A, things will happen.  If choose Path B, things will happen.  Those “things” don’t mean that you made a bad or wrong decision.  They simply mean that things come up no matter what you decide! 

When “things” come up, you then get an opportunity to make another decision to further refine your course.  You get to continually make decisions to stay on track for what you desire.  Seeing decision making from that perspective allows you to eliminate judging and fearing your decisions.  You will stay more fluid, flexible, and resilient.  Decide to make each decision the best decision you have ever made!

3.     Sometimes these explorations are challenging done alone.  You don’t have to explore alone.  I highly recommend two things – working with a coach and attending Freedom to Be: An Embracing Life Experience.  Both of those can support you in your discovery.

I wish you the best in reducing the stress around making decisions.  They are simply decisions.  You are always free to make a new one!