The Transition from School to Summer is a Big Deal!

Your child recently stepped out of the doorway of their classroom for the last time this school year.  The next day when they woke up, things were totally different.  

The schedule that they had become accustomed to following was not the same.  Now, they may wake up and eat lunch at different times.  They may dress differently.  They may not see the friends that they were used to seeing at specific times and in specific classes. 

Their activities and the things that they had focused on over the last school year – such as projects, tests, and assignments – are not the same either.  What was familiar is no longer happening.  Their school-year routines, which provided structure and safety, have shifted. 

As parents, we may think that the transition into summer is simple.  It must be glorious to have all of that time off or get to go to summer camp!  True, and whenever you step through a new threshold, especially one that shakes up routines and rituals, the results may not initially be smooth.  The transition from school to summer is a big deal. 

With this shift in routines and change in the ways in which your child has been getting their needs met, there may be increased power struggles and more “misbehavior”.   Here are a few suggestions to shrink the “adjustment period” and to make the transition easier to navigate for both you and your child. 

First, recognize that the transition is real.  That can assist you in being more resilient if you do see a change in your child’s behavior or if you get hooked into a power struggle.  Also, recognize that the transition is real for you, too.  Your schedule has changed.  The activities that you have been engaged in over the last school year have ended.  Your focus has shifted.  What you do with your time has changed.  Transitions call for compassion for your child and self-compassion for you. 

Secondly, if you have activities coming up over the summer, involve your child in the planning.  If you have a vacation on the calendar or if your child has summer camp, riding lessons, or a day trip lined up, their engagement in planning will support their need to be influential (powerful) and their need to be valuable (to contribute).  Getting those needs met will fill their cup. 

Some ways to engage are to have family meetings focused on planning during which you seek feedback and preferences from everyone; to ask your child to plan the route on a map or with GPS for your road trip; to put your child in charge of making sure everyone packs sunscreen; to ask your child to make a list of the snacks that you are taking on a day trip.  You get the idea!  Let them lead!  

Thirdly, our brains are pattern seeking devices, and predictability provides patterns.  Routines add welcome structure and that needed predictability.  Even though summer may be more flexible and more loosely organized than the school year, the consistency and continuity of routines let your child know what to expect.  Studies have shown that routines are good for people’s well-being, offering much needed safety and cohesiveness.  Provide summer routines so that your child has predictability. 

For more on making your summer smooth, fun, and cooperative, I invite you to download our free e-book, Have a Summer that Rocks!  You will find it at www.WholeHeartedParenting.com/shop. 

May the transition from school to summer be a peaceful adjustment and may your summer be grand!